Social #5 - Life Defining Social Lives

Entry 7

Okay, I normally blog when something in my life gives me inspiration, but for now I'll blog for the sake of it. Pardon the lack of topics.

Today I shall go in-depth sort of into Life Defining Social Lives. In this time and day, with modern means of communications, smartphones, social networking, our social circles eventually begin to define most of us, since opinions are what defines our social standpoint on the social scale. When people don't stand out, or don't have any interests or hobbies, they tend to dwell into the social aspect a little more than most do since its the only thing they can do as a stress reliever from studies or work. This creates a stronger craving for social interaction with people. Eventually this will lead to relying on people to validate your existence. Most people would see this as a lack of personality and character. Instead, you should take this opportunity to define your character and get to know yourself better. I know I have. Spending lots of time with yourself really gets you thinking on how you act and why you do so. Studying your own actions also helps.

When one begins to rely on social circles to define him or herself, the circle of friends he or she creates are usually those that are, fake. Fake, as in they aren't real friends. They are simply friends that ask favors of you and you do what you can to please them. And once you open your eyes and take one good look at your friends again, you'll see that they aren't really your friends. You'll find yourself alone, maybe one or two real friends, but alone. Take this chance to find yourself, define yourself. Slowly re-evaluate your friends.

Once you have done so, start re-expanding your circle and getting mutual real friendships. Get someone to call your own best friend so you would never be alone. Sure, earning the favors of people will assist in this conquest, but always ensure that they would also sometimes do the same for you if they were your friends. This isn't necessarily for friends, but, treat others how you would like them to treat you. You have to take the first step, seize the opportunity. If you want to be well-liked, do favors. If you want real favors, its their job to help you out as well. Both persons have to go half way and do the same for each other. 

And as always, thanks for reading this wordy stuff. I'll try to make it more reader-friendly. 

Picture: http://www.qriously.com/advox/

Social #4 - Emotional/Social Pain

Entry 6

Well, emotional pain. The Worst Kind, if I may say so myself. It was more commonly used by women before the digital age and the rise of the smartphones and internet, I shall explain why further on.
       Now, I'm just quoting something I read somewhere online. But it basically goes along the lines of this. When Men want to hurt people, they physically beat you up and make you injured. But when Women want to hurt people, they mess with who you are, your location on the social scale. Men? They mess and bully, but they don't mess with who you are.

Today, most people resort to hurting people where it hurts most, not because they can, but its because its the only legal way since gossiping isn't a crime.

 Emotional or social pain usually comes when the adapted generations of our time pose a threat to each other's social circle. When you know that the opinions of your social circle aren't turning in your favour, your social life feels as if its in peril. You feel you just sunk to the bottom of the social scale. That is the pain. When life feels like its crumbling, even though not much has changed, physically. This is so, because we tend to care for the opinions of others deeply, which I explained further in The Factual Social Life #2

Feeling awkward? That is also a tinge of social pain, when you really don't know what to do. You're at a loss of judgement on which action to carry out. And when the awkward moment ends inevitably and you have not done a socially approving action, the social pain kicks in and screams, demanding an answer to why you did nothing at that moment. Now, the fact that everyone knows how to socially and emotionally attack someone, results in emotional/social damage. A.K.A, DRAMA. Drama, emotional/social damage with resolve and plot. Today's modern age allows for more common drama, sadly, online. Most of modern real dramatic scenes can only be interpreted through text online. Very few happen in real life, which saddens me. 

I believe such emotional and social damage should be dealt with not online, but in real life when human affection and presence is present. Because when one is angry with another, one cannot unleash emotional damage so easily in life, but when alone and online, being angry at a motionless tool such as the smart phone which displays irritating text allows for the anger to grow larger thus causing more common drama but not actual, drama.

We can usually ignore social and emotional pain by simply not caring. Play a game. Read a book. Watch videos. Escape from reality for a moment and relax your mind from such stressing issues that haunt you. Once you finished your break, think about it with a fresh mind. NOT AT NIGHT! Because people make the worst and most blinding decisions and thoughts then. And as usual, thanks for reading this wordy and must-be-boring stuff!

Ideals And Reality #1 - Ideals / Reality Bites

Entry 5

Ideals... "Absolute Convictions That Transcend Reality" -The World God Only Knows (my favourite anime) Ideals are not what is perfect, but what you think is perfect. People need more ideals in their life, a goal to achieve, the ideal route. Always follow your ideals and push others on with them. The ultimate goal should be to share ideals with one another creating the 'perfect' world. I say 'perfect', because not all share the same ideals.

An ideal is a principle or value that one actively pursues as a goal, usually in the context of ethics. Ideals are particularly important in ethics, as the order in which one places them tends to determine the degree to which one reveals them as real and sincere. It is the application, in ethics, of a universal. It is roughly similar to the relative intrinsic values.

Someone who claims to have an ideal of honesty but is willing to lie to protect a friend is demonstrating that not only does he hold friendship as an ideal, but, that it is a more important one than honesty. Thus ideals can be seen to be similar to values. - Wikipedia

Intrinsic - Belonging naturally; essential.

For instance, evil people might have different ideals (values) than that of normal people. People dwell into ideals because reality bites, they want a better world with better things. Of course eventually they hit reality and logic and your whole ideal world falls apart. But you should work towards it and impose it on others, the future is what you make of it. Most good video games and movies which are popular seldom relate to real life, but resemble ideals and the ideal route to end a problem. Thats why we watch and/or play those things, its an escape from reality, the taste of a good ideal world.

It saddens most when we realize that ideals are never going to fuse with reality, but we should share our ideals and work towards it. When reality bites, we tend to go into hobbies and interests to escape reality and enter another where the rules of life are different. For example, photography. The cameras capture instances in reality. Good pictures are usually those that are extraordinary or are captured at good moments. In this hobby, the rules are different. The goal is to take good pictures and ignore everything else. There are no tests, or expectations or restrictions.

Thats why its best not to mix reality and fiction together. Fiction and anything non-existent are mere reflections of reality, through different shades. Ideals are simply looking through the shade you believe exists and how reality should be. Its good to have multiple escapes from reality so that one of them wouldn't bore you. Personally, I like to see ideal routes that lead to the ending. Thats why I and maybe others dwell into anime or novels. My personal goal is to discover many routes to life, and ones I find ideal. Because we all know how we love ideal things right?

When life gets you down, always look for the ideal route you want to take from there, and work towards the ideal ending, the prime time of your life. The ending of the ideal route really depends on where you want to end it. Marriage, death, achieving a goal, anything really. Just work towards your ideals and everything will fall into place. Ideals are convictions of reality because they aren't supposed to be in this world, banned, if you will. But the reality is no match for ideals, willpower can overcome these things and bring ideals into reality. Sorry for this being really dry, I worked on this thing for a few moments in a span of weeks, so I was not in my 'deep and emotional and passionate' mode. Hahaha, and as always, thanks for reading this really wordy stuff.

Social #3 - Expectations

Entry 4

Expectations

Expectations.. People are so used to having high ones. They are what people use to define the pleasingness of the actions of others. But what are they for? They are Indirect Orders. I place a great emphasis on this because the expectations of others is a hinderance to any thought of action you plan to carry out. Because expectations affect their opinion of you deeply. Before you rob a bank, think about how the jury will judge you. Their expectations of a normal person would be NOT to rob a bank, but to live an orderly life. But you would dwell beneath their expectations if you DID in fact, rob a bank. And living up to their expectations, exceeding it positively or negatively, will sway their opinions of you, affecting your social standpoint deeply. 

Parents normally set high expectations for their children, for them to succeed them and do better then them. Such as the kings that give their heirs expectations to live up to. In the olden times, the people's opinions of the heir was important to establish a pleasing relationship as King to Peasant. The need for the child to live up to their parent's expectations is great, to gain a sense of respect from their parents is one of the few things offspring desire which leads to indirect orders.

Indirect orders occur when people say things such as "What do you think you should say?". For example, when parents are upset and they take away the items of their child and say "You can't have them back unless you say (what you think is right) / (what I want to hear ". At this point, the child is forced to live up to the expectations in order to get what he/she wants. Which is an indirect order. It would be even more indirect if the parent had not taken anything away from the child, and say that sentence. The child would be pressurized and forced to live up to the expectations to get the conversation and tension over with. Well, most Chinese families operate this way.

I'd really hand it to the Japanese for developing an amazing family system. The following are instances I've observed, but may not be entirely true for all. When a child does something bad, most parents from around the world would say not to do that. But when most Japanese and/or parents that believe in their ways have to discipline a child when he/she does something bad, they would tell the child to think how others would feel. Now, this inspires and creates a strong sense of empathy and sympathy as the child grows up and develops, and will affect any decision he makes. This embraces the expectations of others and cares deeply for the opinions of others. That is primarily the reason why most clubs and councils in Japanese Schools are student-run. Which I wish my school was like. This allows students and more or less the population, to speak out their opinions more often. Especially when the traditional 'stabbing yourself with a sword for either disgracing yourself or to honorably kill yourself before something worse does" routine occurs. I am unaware if it is still practiced, but the energy and determination to see it through comes from the expectations and inner discipline that the Japanese instill. Most Japanese students live alone, which allows for dependency growth and inner discipline.
"Japanese parents allowed their children to get into scrapes, she said, and felt that disagreements were character-building."

Read more online, or here "http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2013/05/what-american-parents-need-to-do-better-lessons-from-the-rest-of-the-world/"


When someone has expectations of you, you can either follow it to earn respect which is basically obeying an indirect order. Or don't live up to it and worsen the opinion of the other, which most people do not appreciate. So thus, most people are forced to attempt and live up to the expectations of others which makes expectations indirect orders. And as always,  Thanks for reading this incredibly boring and wordy blog. 

Social #2 - Know Your Place!/Who are you to Judge?

Entry 3

I usually tell myself, "Know Your Place", whenever I feel awkward or might have done something inappropriate. Like, when you accidentally disrespect someone, that feeling comes out and haunts you for the rest of the occasion. Its a good principle to have in my opinion, to keep on telling yourself to "Know Your Place" since it helps determine the appropriateness of your actions. You'll always know when to keep quiet, and not go below people's regular expectations.

"Who are you to Judge?" Is a common complaint by those who act abnormally, or are mistaken to be abnormal. Who are you? Well, I'm a common person who looks at everything in the same light. When you 'Judge' someone, you normally look at someone and Judge based on your own values, unless you're an unreasonable and holds a grudge.
                  Matthew 7:1 "Do Not Judge, Or You Too Will Be Judged" is a verse taken from the Bible. For non-Christian readers, its basically like any other moral that justifies human behavior. It basically means that before you Judge someone, Judge yourself by the same standards. And I really really hate it when I see these phrases saying that people have to be perfect to Judge. Not necessarily perfect, but you have to Judge yourself by the same standards, assuming you're a nice and moralized person. It always helps to look at yourself before looking at the faults of others, which brings us back to "Knowing Your Place". 

Most people nowadays always forget to know where they stand on the social scale, and speak and act without a care for the feelings and opinions of others. Again, opinions of others is really important, refer to "The Factual Social Life #1" for a more in-depth explanation and examples. 

"Knowing Your Place" and questions like "Who are you to Judge" all eventually lead up to your social standpoint, your character and relationship with the surrounding audience. 

     --Depending on the social authority of the audience, if they are higher up in the social scale or lower, will determine your course of action. 
     --If your character's persona is at a lower or higher level, the impressions you leave are greatly affected. 
     --Familiarity with someone else's character will not allow one's actions to impact that person's impression of one's self very badly. 
These factors ultimately determine who you are on the outside, your social standpoint on the social scale. So, don't make people hate you. And as always, thanks for reading this wordy and boring stuff!

My Personal Life #1

Entry 2

Theres not much information I should release to the internet, but here it goes.

Well, for starters I got my kindergarten teacher expelled... I was laughing too hard when my teacher threw my friend's book to the back of the class. And I was picked up, still on the chair. And literally thrown out of class, suffering some injuries. Ha. Hahahaha.

Long story short, I found a love for photography, anime, and drama. And instantly I joined the Drama CCA in Secondary 1 and entered the committee the next year, which I'm overjoyed about. Its really a feat. I joined a 'nice' small group in my Church Youth Ministry and discovered people fun to hang out with, my 'clique'. Ha. But well, not every group is perfect. We do have some 'issues' and all, considering that we came together only because of gossip. I don't really have that MANY friends in school, only small groups of them. Since most of the boys in my school I find intolerable and annoying. Mostly because of their undeveloped brains and self centeredness. Oh well. My parents are like any Christian Chinese parents, enforce and moralize.

Well, after that my views on love which I will soon post about drastically changed. I saw that relationships that occurred around me and with me were nothing but pain. Manipulation. Immaturity. I often advise people not to get into them, but to no avail. Some people just have to see for themselves. You know the saying, a wise man learns from his mistakes. And wiser men learn from the mistakes of others? Well, for someone at the age in secondary school, its best they see for themselves. I'm not totally against it though, it fully depends on the maturity of both sides. Which can defer as everyone matures at different rates. But well, do it for the experience. But well, it may not turn out as a good experience. It may turn out like mine. My Melancholy. Well, ignorance IS in fact bliss. So don't think too much on the subject. Because that's for people like me, people who don't enjoy life the way most do. Well, thats all for now. Chow.

Social #1 - A Social Life

Entry 1

So, hope this doesn't bore you instantly, but this was put here just to widen your perspectives and think about things. #deep

So... What is a social life? Its the very thing that binds us together, your social standpoint, your position in the 'caste system', but still can be moved up or down. Its what defines you...Publicly. Yeah?Now, we all know we'd do lots of things to maintain our position, our place in someone's good side. Now, here comes my motto "Its only and always about perspective". Perspective is everything, but I won't go into too much detail on this now. Basically, people often judge others on what they feel is right. They judge based on morals and values, which is what puts you on the social standpoint between friend or foe, good or evil. 

Now, where you are on the social scale greatly affects your future. For example, when your convicted of a felony, and you want to get a job. The permanent judgement given to you in court, would stick with you for the rest of your life. And that social status is what will define your every move as the public sees it... Such as, pardon the slight sexism. When an innocent man accidentally falls onto a woman. It could be seen as an accident. Whereas when a man convicted of molestation falls onto a woman, it would be seen as attempted molestation or rape. But one will always attempt to tip the balance of the social scale with lies. Now, to me "Lies are what keeps one's social status at equilibrium". Equilibrium, where you aren't judged for something bad, or good. You're basically innocent as long as the lie prevails. But not all lies end well, soon they will lead to more lies and become a habit and it goes downhill from there.

Being too engrossed in one's social life will soon lead to relying on others to validate your own existence. But you must know that you do not need others to define you, but it is important to be at social equilibrium in this life. Sorry for too many words, sometimes I get caught up with being too deep and go on and on about these wordy things. I don't have that much experience coming from a secondary schooler, but this more or less sums up my findings and observations.  I shall post more in the future, for now, thanks for reading.