Social #3 - Expectations

Entry 4

Expectations

Expectations.. People are so used to having high ones. They are what people use to define the pleasingness of the actions of others. But what are they for? They are Indirect Orders. I place a great emphasis on this because the expectations of others is a hinderance to any thought of action you plan to carry out. Because expectations affect their opinion of you deeply. Before you rob a bank, think about how the jury will judge you. Their expectations of a normal person would be NOT to rob a bank, but to live an orderly life. But you would dwell beneath their expectations if you DID in fact, rob a bank. And living up to their expectations, exceeding it positively or negatively, will sway their opinions of you, affecting your social standpoint deeply. 

Parents normally set high expectations for their children, for them to succeed them and do better then them. Such as the kings that give their heirs expectations to live up to. In the olden times, the people's opinions of the heir was important to establish a pleasing relationship as King to Peasant. The need for the child to live up to their parent's expectations is great, to gain a sense of respect from their parents is one of the few things offspring desire which leads to indirect orders.

Indirect orders occur when people say things such as "What do you think you should say?". For example, when parents are upset and they take away the items of their child and say "You can't have them back unless you say (what you think is right) / (what I want to hear ". At this point, the child is forced to live up to the expectations in order to get what he/she wants. Which is an indirect order. It would be even more indirect if the parent had not taken anything away from the child, and say that sentence. The child would be pressurized and forced to live up to the expectations to get the conversation and tension over with. Well, most Chinese families operate this way.

I'd really hand it to the Japanese for developing an amazing family system. The following are instances I've observed, but may not be entirely true for all. When a child does something bad, most parents from around the world would say not to do that. But when most Japanese and/or parents that believe in their ways have to discipline a child when he/she does something bad, they would tell the child to think how others would feel. Now, this inspires and creates a strong sense of empathy and sympathy as the child grows up and develops, and will affect any decision he makes. This embraces the expectations of others and cares deeply for the opinions of others. That is primarily the reason why most clubs and councils in Japanese Schools are student-run. Which I wish my school was like. This allows students and more or less the population, to speak out their opinions more often. Especially when the traditional 'stabbing yourself with a sword for either disgracing yourself or to honorably kill yourself before something worse does" routine occurs. I am unaware if it is still practiced, but the energy and determination to see it through comes from the expectations and inner discipline that the Japanese instill. Most Japanese students live alone, which allows for dependency growth and inner discipline.
"Japanese parents allowed their children to get into scrapes, she said, and felt that disagreements were character-building."

Read more online, or here "http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2013/05/what-american-parents-need-to-do-better-lessons-from-the-rest-of-the-world/"


When someone has expectations of you, you can either follow it to earn respect which is basically obeying an indirect order. Or don't live up to it and worsen the opinion of the other, which most people do not appreciate. So thus, most people are forced to attempt and live up to the expectations of others which makes expectations indirect orders. And as always,  Thanks for reading this incredibly boring and wordy blog.